I got this letter today from my former wife. It's the first correspondence between us in 25 years, and it speaks for itself. The only deletions I've made are to protect the confidentiality of third parties. I haven't asked permission to publish the letter as no correspondence is possible. I think my former wife's opinions of me, and her truthful account of my neglect of our children, deserve a wider readership:
"I shall not put my address here as I don't want to enter into any correspondence with you."
"However, I have long felt great animosity towards you, for the way in which you shunned your daughters (Yes, you DO have 3 other children, although airbrushed out of your life, apparently) as they grew up."
"No birthday or Christmas cards. No letters asking how they were. No ANYTHING to show them that you, at least, thought of them from time to time."
"When you went back to Zambia, a postcard to say you were going and maybe not coming back was all we got. No address. No good wishes."
"This letter would probably never have been written had I not read some of your Buddhist blogs. Dear me! You seem to have compassion, ask forgiveness from everyone on the planet but your daughters. What hypocrisy!"
"Yes, I am bitter about it. Not about you and Berlina. Glad you're happy, but how could you not have asked your daughters for forgiveness in view of your beliefs is beyond my comprehension."
"In spite of it all, and there have been some VERY hard times, they have grown into very caring and happy women. I could not have wished for better daughters. Not takimg part in their lives is your loss. You are clever and know all about psychology - but did you stop for one moment and ask yourself how hurtful it was for them?"
"History repeats itself (third party references deleted)...has disappeared off the scene after some contact for a year or two. You men are truly a different species. Clever but totally selfish and lacking in insight. Hope this diminishes the anger I feel".
"I shall not put my address here as I don't want to enter into any correspondence with you."
"However, I have long felt great animosity towards you, for the way in which you shunned your daughters (Yes, you DO have 3 other children, although airbrushed out of your life, apparently) as they grew up."
"No birthday or Christmas cards. No letters asking how they were. No ANYTHING to show them that you, at least, thought of them from time to time."
"When you went back to Zambia, a postcard to say you were going and maybe not coming back was all we got. No address. No good wishes."
"This letter would probably never have been written had I not read some of your Buddhist blogs. Dear me! You seem to have compassion, ask forgiveness from everyone on the planet but your daughters. What hypocrisy!"
"Yes, I am bitter about it. Not about you and Berlina. Glad you're happy, but how could you not have asked your daughters for forgiveness in view of your beliefs is beyond my comprehension."
"In spite of it all, and there have been some VERY hard times, they have grown into very caring and happy women. I could not have wished for better daughters. Not takimg part in their lives is your loss. You are clever and know all about psychology - but did you stop for one moment and ask yourself how hurtful it was for them?"
"History repeats itself (third party references deleted)...has disappeared off the scene after some contact for a year or two. You men are truly a different species. Clever but totally selfish and lacking in insight. Hope this diminishes the anger I feel".
The image at the head of this post is "The Narcissist" by Jon Goebel.
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